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30 June 2007 @ 09:32 am
Toss 6/27/07  
"Before we go, let's check in with our friend Stephen Colbert at The Colbert Report. Stephen, my friend!"
"Hey, Jon. Do you remember those, uh, Even Stevphens that Steve and I used to do?"
"Maybe the best regular segment we've ever had."
"Yeah, yeah. You know, people still ask me, did you two argue like that off-camera too? And no, no we didn't. We did not speak off-camera. I hated Steve Carell. I despised him.
(lights go down and Stephen assumes an evil expression/voice)
In between segments, I'd let our sour yeast of hatred ferment in the dark oak cask of my soul, then once a month I'd untap the spigot for four minutes and pour the putrified vintage of my loathing into his miserable snail-like ears!
(normal lights come back up, Stephen goes back to normal)
So, um, what was he on for? Evan Almighty? It looks good!"
"...Yeah. Yeah, he's done really well for himself."
(very high pitched) "Good! Good for him."
"I'll see you in a minute, Stephen!"
(everything goes dark again)